3 years ago, right now, I had an almost 1 week old baby. It is so crazy to think about the difference in my life in that time.
My life then consisted of many new things-- holding up a tiny head, waking every 2 hours, breastfeeding, diaper changing, all things that required a lot of effort every single time. I read somewhere then about the process of becoming a mother- how it doesn't feel like it just overnight, but how with time, with each flower picked, with thousands of diapers being changed and midnight feedings and butts being patted and cries being soothed, the evolution to mother happens.
And now, 3 years later, it has clearly happened.
With her ringlet curls and high-pitched voice and strong negotiations, her hops and skips and jumps and overall zest for life, the harder times really do fade away. They say they must fade away, or how would we possibly have more than one?!
Lately I have been extremely blessed and fortunate to have so much undivided time with my girls. Kennedy has responded noticeably, extremely well to this change. We play things together and talk, and here you can see she's joining me on my foam roller when I was stretching out my back. All nuzzled in <3
3 years ago I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into - was this going to be fun? Exhausting? Worth it? What I've learned is that absolutely I'll never know until I try-- and isn't that what life is, after all? A series of discoveries and trying and learning along the way? I use to think I would one day 'make it' , meaning when I got there , I would just... Stop? I am not sure what there would have given me other than some form of security and finality. Even in my most stressful days, I just knew there was more to the journey than I was allowing myself to experience. The destination is alluring but it seems to always be there, ready to distract us from the joy along the way.
So tonight I celebrate 3 years and some change-- the change is about 6.5 days, but it's also a lifetime of learning, of infinite hugs, butt pats, songs in her bed, hops, skips, jumps, and a realization that true change can enhance our lives in ways we had never before imagined.